Just a little post to get me going. Have been discovering things about myself that are disturbing. Will let you know in time. It’s distracting me a little but I have challenged myself to stick with it. To not run anymore but to do what I have set out to do. And what is important to me. Blogging is.
So this starting post will answer today’s #whatif and #SoCS prompt.
There are sayings that are the same in English and in German. Having a green finger is one of them. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about language and the two languages I speak. I am re-learning my third which is French and would like to do a couple more, but so many languages so little time.
But maybe that’s just an excuse. Have been thinking a lot about my excuses. Or maybe they are core beliefs. Some of my favourites are “I am not good enough!” “It’s too much” “Not enough time”.
I get green with envy when I see people just achieving so much. Being green with envy is another one that’s the same in both languages*. I like green. I like plants. But I am not always good at caring for them. Not good with caring for anything or anyone. But at the same time, I care for people. Even those I have never met. When I read or hear something they struggle with I just want to encourage them to go on. To tell them that they can do it.
Maybe its because I haven’t had that enough when I was young. I am moaning again. I wish I could stop moaning and just be funny and make a joke and entertain. I wish I could just let the self-absorbance go. There are more important things in this life than my pain.
Or maybe there aren’t. Have read a lot of posts about self-care and starting to respecting oneself. Seems important. And impossible. But why? Am I not running with the wolves anymore?
No. Have been for a couple of nights last week. A feeling of freedom. Just running and running and running. But I have run all of my life. Well, not physically. Maybe I should start that. Many say walking and running are good to allow change and for your mental health. But I stop and start, stop and start with anything I do. It’s like a curse. Do curses have a colour? If so it’s possibly not green!
* might be that I am wrong here. I think in German you are yellow with envy….
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
Resource: Wise Old Sayings
Fellow bloggers offering the #whatif and #SoCS prompt:
Life in Progress: #SoCS 17/18 March 2018
What if we all cared: #whatif 17.3.18
The Bee Writes... 
Nice take on the green SoCS prompt! Keep on keeping on!
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Thanks, Shelley 🙂 I try my very best :-). Thanks for visiting. I hope you won’t get too much snow to deal with.
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Love it. . my poor pitiful plant I got from my mom recently desperately needs to be repotted . . hmm . . I feel a blog post about my current condition writing itself!!
I am a runner . . when things get bad I leave. . I’ve really been working on this the last 20 yrs. . . to the point I stayed in a very abusive situation years and years too long . . so now I am learning when to leave and when to fight to stay . .
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Been there done that…. I know exactly what you mean. I suspect it has to do with the abuse in my childhood. Even though I could not run away physically my mind so to speak ran away to make me survive. However, later on in life it kept doing that not giving me the chance to develop a feeling of safety in anything I do. Does that make sense? I believe it also has to do with self-love. If you are able to take yourself and your needs seriously you’ll figure out when to stay and when to go. The one who helps me to figure it out is my husband. Hope you find your peace and don’t have to run anymore. It is so exhausting…
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Very exhausting!! I am also learning to step back and not ‘have to’ take care of everyone
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You go lady!!!!!
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🍀🍄🍀
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I can relate to those “excuses” – thoughts that can be re-directed. When I read that you like to encourage others and tell them they can do it, I’m reminded that I have had some success with encouraging myself just as I would someone I care about. Or imagining someone I believe in encouraging me. Don’t be too hard on yourself for stopping and starting things, as long as you start again.
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Thanks JoAnna for your kind words. Now that you say it I have done that too at times. Just treating myself like I am someone else. Strangely I am much kinder to myself that way. It is probably a question of keeping at it no matter what. What else can I do? Thanks again for stopping by and your kind words!
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You are very welcome! And you are right! 🙂
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This is fantastic Bee. I relate to everything you wrote. I get green with envy too. I am also known to stop and start only to stop again. If only I was as good as everyone else.
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OH, it is so good to know that I am not the only one. But I suspect we are as good as everybody else we have just learned to believe that we aren’t. I try to let that go because it does stop me in my tracks so badly. But it seems to get even worse now that I am aware of it and want to change it. But don’t give up! WE can do it!
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Yes we can! Thanks Bee.
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Anytime 🙂
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